Category Archives: Announcements

Blogging is hard work…and people are mean!

I know I get a lot of readers through Google search, so I want to apologize for the lack of content. There are many reason (excuses) for not writing. I have gone down a very busy and demanding career path, and while it does make me happy, I know I need to keep writing to maintain my sanity. Blogging takes commitment, and it just hasn’t been there from me.

That being said, I will write when I can. However, I’ve taken down my contact form due to an overwhelming number of horrible emails from some folks who don’t care much for my way of thinking/behaving/saying what’s on my mind. Those messages and crazy spam just make it too difficult to manage responding to emails.

I do have a lot of inquiries for advice, and I love that you guys trust me enough to ask for help. I will probably bring my contact form back in another way at another time, but for now, it’s turned off.

To anyone who doesn’t like what I have to say – why the hell are you spending your time here, then? I don’t go around reading religious blogs and sending mean messages to people about how horrible they are. Come on, people. Grow up.

Also, to the hundreds of messages I have in my inbox about how atheism is a belief system – no. Just no. It’s a LACK OF BELIEF in a god and gods or any sort. I’m not raising my kids as atheists. I’m raising them to think for themselves. To question everything. When they’re old enough to handle the pressures that our local churches put on people, I’ll let them go and experience different churches. They already do have exposure to these kinds of things because we live in fucking Oklahoma, where there are three churches on every block. So yeah, I think they’re getting plenty of other viewpoints.

A 5-year-old and an 8-year-old are not old enough to go through any more experiences than what they’re already going through with their friends at school. It’s hard enough. But trust me when I say I’m not locking them in to any “system.” I want them to be curious, to question, to love, and to be good people because they want to be, not because they think they’ll go to hell if they don’t behave.

Thank you for your continued support for those of you who have been asking for more posts. I’ll do my best. I can’t promise, but your continued readership means more to me than you know.

Sincerely,

B

P.S. If you haven’t seen Derek, you must.

Where have I been? Freethinker Mom is Back!

I know, I know. It’s been way too long since I shared some tidbit of life as an atheist parent with you. I got a job outside the house last September and life has been a whirlwind of insanity since then.

So, here’s an update on life:

  1. I’ve lost 35 pounds since January 1. I’m super proud and I feel better than ever! And, I’m still losing about a pound a week thanks to the Keto Diet.
  2. My two girls are in summer camp at the YMCA here in Tulsa. Their experience has been great so far, and they’re loving being outside all day. It’s been very non-religious, which is wonderful for all of us.
  3. Work is going well. I’m doing what I love for a great company. Can’t beat that!
  4. I have so much to tell you! Let’s start with how I actually went to church for the first time in years, and on Easter Sunday, no less!

Yep, that’s right. A Christian got an atheist to go to church. A coworker and dear friend invited me to come to the inaugural Easter service of her start-up church where she would be preaching her first Easter service. I built their website as a favor to my friend because I truly believe in what she’s doing in her church. I decided to put my distrust of religion aside and go to support my friend and her lovely partner.

So we got dressed up and went to the service, which was held at the outdoor stage of a local downtown bar (YEAH!). It was misty and rainy, but I was glad to be there. I was proud to be a part of the service that day, for the message was clear and full of hope and love. I even sang along during worship!

You see, the pastor of this church is openly gay. She and her partner are preaching love. Pure, beautiful love. They are accepting, caring, and kind people. They truly understand the meaning of love, and I know my friend loves me, regardless of our differences in beliefs.

Of all the Christians I’ve met in this world, she is the truest follower of Christ I’ve ever known. It was her kindness and openness to my beliefs that compelled me to say yes to her invitation. Never has a Christian shown me the compassion and understanding that she shows me regularly.

So yes, Christians, you can get an atheist to go to church. And, while I did listen, and while I did agree with my friend’s message of love, I’m still an atheist. And you know what? That’s ok. :)

As a side note, I haven’t had access to the email address connected to this website, so I hope to get that resolved and answer any mail. I know I said I always write back, and I will – to each and every one of you –  because I’m sure there are some letters from someone!

Thanks for being patient with me during this transition to working outside the house!

Sincerely,

B

 

Ring the bell! School’s in!

Ah, it’s been far too long, my dear freethinking readers!

School is finally back in, and I’m happy to report that my daughter is no longer in the same class as her religious friend. Something interesting has happened in the past week. My daughter, who got in trouble frequently last year for acting up, talking out of turn, and being out of line, has improved dramatically. She hasn’t had her “card lowered” even once, and had gotten special rewards for being extra quiet and attentive in class. I’m amazed. Granted, this has nothing to do with her friend being religious, and everything to do with the fact that the two of them aren’t in class together anymore. But still, I’m happy with the direction this school year is going!

My youngest daughter also started pre-k this year, so it will be interesting to see how different the two of them are with regards to school relationships and behavior.

Anyway, I’m back and ready to regale you with tales from the summer, so keep an eye out for new posts in the coming weeks.  I’m going back to school this fall (yes, I’m insane) to get my master’s degree, but I intend to keep posting and communicating with my dedicated readers.

Thanks for sticking with me while I took a short break! Be sure to let me know if there are topics you’d like me to write about. Just comment here or send me a quick note! Thanks!

Summertime, baby, yeah!

Just a quick update. I was counting down the days until I didn’t have to wake the girls every morning, get them fed and dressed, and trudge to school in my PJ’s (and sans bra) to get them to school on time. Three days into summer vacation, they were fighting like cats and dogs. It. Was. Insane. I had to play the referee and it was getting old. They’re calming down now, with the novelty of being home together all day wearing off.

I’m enjoying having them home, even though I still have to get work done during the day. But I have fun things planned if this crazy tornado weather would ever give us a break. A new children’s museum opened up nearby, and I’d love to take them there to see what it’s all about. We got a zoo membership, so science activities are well covered. And a favorited family member is officially moving to town today, which includes two cousins/playmates for the kiddos. Super fun.

Anyway, not much is happening in the way of excitement. With school being over, we’re now able to choose who we spend our time with and what people we’re around. It’s been nice to get a break from the religious zealots that dominate our small community and school.

Anyway, if updates are few and far between over the next few months, rest assured I’m spending some quality time with my little freethinkers. I’m immersing them in fun activities, scientific exploration, and some general everyday couch snuggling. :) Happy summer!

We are ok!

If you’re wondering, the recent tornado outbreak that occurred in Oklahoma completely missed my area. Our family and our loved ones are fine. Others, however, were not so fortunate. The devastation is terrible. There are still several children missing.

It’s always hard for atheists in Oklahoma to be a part of social media during times of crisis. Everyone is praying, but I’m not. I’m taking action – donating, doing. Please, if you can help, donate to Atheists Giving Aid’s Oklahoma relief effort. It’s difficult to live here sometimes, but I still love this state. Let’s take action!

It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but it’s getting better.

I have a good life. I really do. But I have internal struggles that make everyday life hard to cope with sometimes. I battle depression, anxiety, a borderline eating disorder, three major physical health issues, and weight troubles. I battled many of the same things as a (religious) teenager. I once used prayer as a way to let my problems go. I’d “give them to god,” as many Christians say. I’d push them away, deep down, trying to forget them and refusing to deal with them in a productive way.

They’d fester. They’d boil. Then the lid would explode off the pot. My dad and I would scream at each other. I’d rebel. Then came the guilt. So I’d rock back and forth on my bedroom floor, sobbing and begging for god’s forgiveness for my terrible behavior. I’d write in my journal that I was lonely. I’d write that I felt unloved. Wasn’t god supposed to love me? Weren’t all my prayers supposedly being heard by him so he could bring me up from my sadness? Still I prayed, being told by friends and family that god is in control and has a plan for my life.

I never learned to deal with stress. I packed it away, deep down, until it exploded out of me. I know I can’t do that anymore. I know I have to let it out. I have to deal with things responsibly. I have to take care of myself.

Writing this blog and getting my thoughts out of my head and into a sort of physical place (at least they can be seen) really helps. I try to stay on topic, but sometimes I just need to vent. This week is one of those weeks.

I feel frustrated. I feel worthless. I feel like a failure because I can’t seem to lose weight. I need to do this for my family. I need to do this for my overall health. But nothing works, and I’m afraid of failing again.

I was taught to be “broken” before god. To let him fix me. I no longer want to be broken. I would like to take control of my own life instead of pretending that some outside force is going to make it better. I want my girls to grow up with healthy self-esteem and I want them to see me as strong, healthy, and capable.

Things are better this week. I made it to the gym and got a good workout in. I have a big craft show coming up this weekend, which will unload a lot of stress when it’s over. Thanks for letting me vent. Thank you for your letters of kindness and support. Don’t forget – I always write back, so be sure to check your junk folders!

I Always Write Back…

As I’ve mentioned before, I get at least one email a week through this blog, usually from people thanking me for writing it, but also from people seeking advice. I want you to know that I respond to every email I get, so if you haven’t seen a response from me, check your spam folder. It’s very important to me to stay in touch with my readers, so please know that I make every effort to respond as quickly as I can to all emails.

Also, I’m working on some guest posts for a couple of different parenting blogs, so keep an eye out for the details on those!

Thanks, I appreciate every single one of you more than you know!

B

Facebook Pages I Follow

If you have a lot of religious friends on Facebook, chances are your feed is getting thinner and thinner as you either hide their feeds or delete them. I love Facebook, however, and refuse to stop using it to keep in touch with family and friends. However, it can also be a great source for the goings on of the atheist and freethinker community. To keep up with the latest news, I follow several pages. Some I follow just for fun. Here are my favorites. If you visit any of them, let them know I sent you! I don’t get anything for it, but I’d love to get the word out about my blog!

Atheism Resource

The Atheist Parent’s Place

The Atheist Gaming Network (I’m a huge gamer!)

We are Atheism

American Humanist Association

The Ostracized Atheist Project

Freethinkers, Atheists, Skeptics, and Agnostics

Human Rights Campaign

Don’t hesitate to get in touch

I get at least one email in my inbox every week from someone who feels like they have no support as an atheist in America. The emails are always thankful, appreciative, and heart-warming. I know I may not offer the most exciting tips and advice on this blog, but I also know what it’s like to feel like no one understands what you’re going through. Simply knowing that other parents out there are facing the same challenges is comforting. You tell me you’re thankful that I’m willing to share my experiences…well I’m thankful you’re willing to send me a personal note to tell me you’re going through the same things. It means so much! Please, don’t hesitate to write. Your thoughts give me ideas for topics, and your words are a comfort in crazy times.

If you have a specific topic you’d like me to explore, please feel free to let me know. Now that I’m free of school I have plenty of time to devote to my blog! :)

Thanks again!

Just a quick thank-you!

I just wanted to send a quick thank-you out to my readers who have used my Amazon affiliate links to purchase books (found in the right sidebar). It’s much appreciated, and your support keeps me going! Thanks again, and I hope you all have a great week!

Here are the links of my favorite atheism and atheist parenting books:

Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion

Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief

Generation Atheist

The Young Atheist’s Survival Guide: Helping Secular Students Thrive