Blogging is hard work…and people are mean!

I know I get a lot of readers through Google search, so I want to apologize for the lack of content. There are many reason (excuses) for not writing. I have gone down a very busy and demanding career path, and while it does make me happy, I know I need to keep writing to maintain my sanity. Blogging takes commitment, and it just hasn’t been there from me.

That being said, I will write when I can. However, I’ve taken down my contact form due to an overwhelming number of horrible emails from some folks who don’t care much for my way of thinking/behaving/saying what’s on my mind. Those messages and crazy spam just make it too difficult to manage responding to emails.

I do have a lot of inquiries for advice, and I love that you guys trust me enough to ask for help. I will probably bring my contact form back in another way at another time, but for now, it’s turned off.

To anyone who doesn’t like what I have to say – why the hell are you spending your time here, then? I don’t go around reading religious blogs and sending mean messages to people about how horrible they are. Come on, people. Grow up.

Also, to the hundreds of messages I have in my inbox about how atheism is a belief system – no. Just no. It’s a LACK OF BELIEF in a god and gods or any sort. I’m not raising my kids as atheists. I’m raising them to think for themselves. To question everything. When they’re old enough to handle the pressures that our local churches put on people, I’ll let them go and experience different churches. They already do have exposure to these kinds of things because we live in fucking Oklahoma, where there are three churches on every block. So yeah, I think they’re getting plenty of other viewpoints.

A 5-year-old and an 8-year-old are not old enough to¬†go through any more experiences than what they’re already going through with their friends at school. It’s hard enough. But trust me when I say I’m not locking them in to any “system.” I want them to be curious, to question, to love, and to be good people because they want to be, not because they think they’ll go to hell if they don’t behave.

Thank you for your continued support for those of you who have been asking for more posts. I’ll do my best. I can’t promise, but your continued readership means more to me than you know.

Sincerely,

B

P.S. If you haven’t seen Derek, you must.

5 Thoughts on “Blogging is hard work…and people are mean!

  1. Curtis Shanahan on March 20, 2015 at 11:07 am said:

    I want to commend you for your writing. Your blogs have helped me to feel much more secure and confident through my 10-15 year process of “coming out” as an atheist. My grandfather was a minister and my mother is very big on faith (not religion, to her credit, but on faith, which I do view as the lesser of two evils).
    I grew up going to Sunday school and church, being in church Christmas plays, sitting up front with my grandfather while he was “doing his thing” as a minister, and just generally having this belief that my grandparents, parents, and the church people around us knew exactly what they were talking about.
    Sunday school started to not make a lot of sense to me as the stories we were being taught felt like they belonged in a mother goose collection. Then, one day in middle school, a speaker came and spoke to us. I honestly don’t remember who the speaker was or what they spoke about, but they sent all the kids home with the book of Revelations (HA). I read it front to back, and when I was done, I knew two things: 1) This was a HORRIBLE book morally, and 2) there was no way that this was the truth behind what life is about, and I just needed to read the bible now. So I did.
    It took me a couple years to be honest (I was very busy with school, sports, friends, etc.) but I read the entire bible, and well before I had gotten all the way through it, my whole life had changed. It is kind of funny to think that reading the literature that an entire religion and way of life is based upon, is the best way to turn people away from it.
    I definitely had a rough transition at that point, I took the road of thinking “well, I’ve been lied to my whole life, this is some crazy cult, my family is nuts, what the hell is wrong with everyone around me?” I kept my new-found lack of faith and religious belief to myself, but internally I turned to partying, drugs/alcohol, getting in trouble with the law, etc. I rebelled a lot! I think I just didn’t have any where to turn and I honestly believed there wasn’t a point to life and living any more, and I was too young to look for answers or beauty elsewhere. The whole world seemed like one big dark underworld that was being masked by the powerful to herd us into conformity.
    Then I became a father at the young age of 20, and all of a sudden, new meaning came back to my world. I suddenly knew there was a purpose to our crazy time as living beings. I saw in my daughter what I was missing in myself. Innocence, a source of love, a blank slate who could have all of the wonder and amazement with the world and with life that I no longer believed was possible for me.
    So for a few years I carried on just kind of being this person with a mind set about the world that I had no word for in my own vocabulary. I am a very intelligent person, but I hated religion so much that I avoided even reading, talking or listening to ideas that were against religion, because I wanted to just keep the idea from ever entering my thoughts.
    I began to find wonder in sharing my daughters first time worldly experiences with her, and being amazed myself at how beautiful and awe-inspiring something like a tree, a waterfall, birds flying, a sunset, the horizon of a blue sky scattered with those nice puffy white clouds that make any place feel like a paradise, could be to someone literally seeing it for the first time in their young life, and I would imagine the thought of “I am so lucky to be able to experience a place like this” running through my young daughters mind. This made me start paying a lot more attention to the finer details of life and the world around me.
    “Could this have been created so perfectly? Just because I disagree with almost everything in the bible, and the things I agree with certainly don’t seem to require a book to tell us about them, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not true does it? There has to be another way to explain all of this.”
    This is when I found Hitchens, and Dawkins, and Harris, and Dennett, and a myriad of others like them.
    This is when I was finally able to say “THIS IS IT! Science. Who knew Science was THIS COOL!”
    All of a sudden I swung a HUGE door open to a community that understood me. They understood that I wanted to believe there was more to the story than some 2000 year old book about things that we know today are literally impossible, and barbaric. I started loving life again, I started worrying less about what it all meant, what the purpose was, and concerning myself fully with enjoying it while I have the chance to because we are all extremely lucky that evolution lead to us being here, and a day should not pass that we don’t appreciate how amazing it is that we simply exist, let alone that we get to exist in such a wonderful form.
    Thank you for creating and fighting for us to have this community we all love so much. Your posts are far from unnoticed, and they help me immensely in raising my two children the right way and allowing them to decide for their own with zero chance of consequence for it. I appreciate you.

    • Curtis, thank you so much for sharing your story! I can’t tell you what it means to me that you took the time to write to me. It sounds like we’ve had a lot of the same experiences. Thank you for hanging around through my lean posting times! I look forward to talking with you on future posts!

  2. Hey there, Bee! I happened to stumble on your blog after searching for the book Raising Freethinkers since my son was just born back in February. I just have to say that it is very refreshing to see another parent trying to raise their kids without indoctrinating them into any one particular religion. Also, I’m from Tulsa too so I can relate to some of your frustrations regarding the excessive amount of evangelicals. So kudos to you Momma! Thank goodness there are parents like you in this holy-roller-Oral Roberts overridden city!

  3. So glad to stumble upon your blog via a link from Pinterest of all places. My husband and I are in the middle of the adoption process and are having one hell of a time finding blogs that are not all about how God “directed” them to adopt these poor children from other countries. My husband and I are doing this because we want to – gasp! – be parents and have been unable to the old fashioned way. It’s a relief to see your blog and very refreshing and hilarious as well because we totally see that craziness out there as well, and want to raise our kids to be open minded free thinkers who question everything… kind of like us :)

    PS- My husband was raised in the Catholic Church in Australia and actually had to go to a Catholic boarding school so fortunately he got out of that fairly unscathed. I knew from about age 10 that organized religion was about as believable as Santa Clause, and my mother never forced me to go after that (I think the only reason we ever really went was to have a great Sunday brunch afterwards).

  4. I just stumbled across your blog today and I haven’t been a follower or read a lot yet -although I intend to- I just wanted to offer some words of support from a fellow midwesterner (ICT represent!). I’m sorry you got so much hate mail you had to shut down your contact form. Internet trolls are truly a scourge.

    We just had our first baby in April and we are not “out” to our families as atheist so raising our son outside of the church is going to present some difficulties for us. I’m glad there are people like you who are brave enough to put their experiences out there. Being non-religious and a religious community can be very isolating and reading about others in the same boat as is validating and inspiring. Keep calm and carry on!

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